Wearing me out

It is Sunday evening after a long afternoon and evening with my dad and Carolyn at the hospital. While there has been no confirmation, all signs point to a mild stroke or TIA on Saturday evening. His speech is still difficult for him at times, though others it seems to be okay. We've pushed him to stay awake today and forced him to eat with us. Finally this evening, after ripping out the IV in his upper arm, he told me that he wished we would just let him die and get it over with. My response, was "No, that's not going to happen." At another time before this last statement, he asked if they were going to cut off his leg. There is still considerable confusion though he is not nearly as belligerant as was the case last week. His blood pressure is quite high for him today.

I'm home to get some sleep and try to settle my pancreas and stomach. It is no surprise that my body is reacting adversely. Carolyn plans to stay through Monday and we'll just take it day to day from here.

Thanks for the many offers of prayers and concern; it means a great deal. God is in charge indeed.