Welcome to Brad (Darb) Elder's Dyslexia page
A view of Kite lake from the top of Mt. Bross.		A sunset from the middle of the Bering Sea.  I was lucky enough to see the green flash this day!

If you think this page has helped you please let me know.  Just drop me a short line at belder@ou.edu

Here are a few links to information on my page:

1. Below is my story. I hope it helps, but first, here are some links that may help you find answers!
2. Here is a developing page of Frequently Asked Questions. I think you will find it very helpful. This page contains replies to questions I have received such as:

     1.  Can my daughter go to college?
     2.  What college should I chose?
     3.  How can I get my son's teachers to understand what dyslexia is? (Letter)
     4.  How can I convince my teachers and my school system to help?  (Letter)
     5.  How can I get my son to be a better self advocator?
     6.  What can I do to help my son with his low self-esteem?
     7.  So what else is there in school besides Math and Spelling?
     8.  What else (out side of school) will help my son or daughter succeed in life?

3. Here is a list of the resources I have used to get here and a point about the law.
4. The LAW page. This is a list of attorneys in your STATE and local AREA that have experience in this area of law and are willing to tackle the issues of disabled student rights and the school systems.
5.  Here is a list of message boards and chat rooms.  Ask your questions to the world.
6. Are you Dyslexic? Want to help out in a research study? Remember that what we know about dyslexia and the subsequent help we get for it, comes from research and the volunteer effort from people like you and me. :O)

Below is my story.  I hope it helps!!

I have left this un spell checked so that you can see my world a little better.

Like I said this is really hard to put into words.  Hard on the emotional level.  But I think it will help me to do it.  And I hope it will help you.

Ok,  where to start.  well I was diagnosed in the 6th graid.  That really helped!!!  It was the single biggest event in my life.  Suddenly there was a name for my problem.  I wasn't lazy, or didn't cair, or was.........  what ever they called me that week.  It was like the unevers was lifted off my sholders.  I think I know what it must be like to slowly sufficate.  I don't know really how to describe it to you but i'll try:

Imagen that nobody could see their hands.  Everybody in the world.  Nobody can see anything from the elbo down.   Also assume that everybodys  hands work just like thay do right now today.    Now what if your hands didn't work like "the normal hand"?   What If you didn't have any fingers?  Everyone else can type, turn keys, scrach an ich, dress them sleves, tie there shoes, and feed them sleves.  Every one but you.  No one can see why you can't "Do what everyone else can".  You don't know  why you can't do what "normal" kids can.  You just know you can't.   you walk and talk just like every one else.  there is no way to see an obvous reason why you can't do it.  Adults don't know.  How could they.  All they can see is a kid that isn't doing what they were told to do.   And they lable you lazy, slacker, rebbel, and what ever they can come up with.......They my even point you out to your class mates and tell them not to be like you.

Rember You Have NO Idea Why You Can Not Do What The Normal Kids Do.

None.

All you know is that no matter what,  nomatter how hard you try,  you just can't do it.   You will,  as your only choise, beleave the adults.  You must be lazy.  You must really be a slacker.  How could anyone be as worthless as you? the other kids susceed.  They must be trying.  You, there for, are not trying.

I want you to stop here and think about this senario.  Where does a Child go from here?  where does a Child go when they KNOW, becaues everyone tells them, they beleave with all there heart,  they are worthless?  Who does a Child turn to when everyone (even your parents) give up on you?

I really  want you to think hard about that.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?   YOU HAVE NO REASON TO DOUBT WHAT ANYONE IS TELLING YOU.  YOU HAVE NO ONE TO TURN TO.  NO ONE IS TELLING YOU ANY THING POSITIVE ABOUT YOUR SELF.

This was me at ten years of age.  I wanted to die.  Not because I was depresed (though I'm shure I was) but because I was imbarsed to be alive.  I was imbarsed for my parents,  for my sisters, for my teachers.    I loved them all and respected there openions.  After all they could do what I could not.  How could anyone deserve the burden of putting up with me?

Don't you quit!!!

How are you going to get help?  no one, not even you know the truth.  you have no fingers!!!  thats it.  Nothing sinester about your behavior.  you just don't have any fingers!!
Your only chance will be if someone actualy sees you.  and says to them self "what a nice kid.  shurly if they could have tied their shoe thay would have.  I wonder why they don't?"  If your luckey they will have heard of a handy cap called "nofinger" that has symptems like yours.  And they will sugest that you get testing.

To parents reading think about this.  How can a Child get help if the parents don't want to help?  "My Kid Is Normal!"  "Not My Son!!"  "My Daughter Is Just Quiet".  the world cann't help unless you allow it.  I don't know what self centered fears parents have about children,  But try and rember "a rose by anyother name would smell as sweet".  your child is alive and suffering and is a rose by any name.  Any help you can give them will help them bloom.  Many of my friends in the LD classes I have through out my life never were alowed to sucesed because their parents refeusd th help.

Don't you quit!! (eather of you)

Now suppose all the politics required in getting parents, teachers and famly menbers involved come togeather and you are going to get tested.
You probably won't know or cair about whats going on.  You have spent 10 years being told and fearmly beleaving that you are just dumb and lazy.  And lord knows you have seen your shair of tests.  The test is a new fangled machane that takes a picture of your hand and can see what we can't.  after the test you are shown the results and have them explained to you.

BINGO!!!!!
you are not lazy.  you just don't have any fingers!!!!!!!
Of corse no one could tie there shoes if they didn't have fingers!!!
Of corse no one could dress them selves if they didn't have fingers!!!
Of corse no one could type if they didn't have fingers!!!!!!!
Of corse!!!!!!!!
 

I hope that helps you under stand.   I finaly knew why I couldn't tie my shoes.  There was a reason.  and it wasn't because I was lazy!

I really got mad after that.  I was mad at all my teachers.  mad at everyone who was trusted with my life and failed!  I soon (longer for others) forgave them all as They  did't know anymore than I that there was aproblem (execpet that they did't lisson to me.  But who lissons to a 10 yr old who doesn't do what he is told).  I thought that that was it!  I'd  just show the teachers "look here are my test results, look no fingers!  I can't type.  but I can tell you the answer."
well that didn't happen. All, most all, of them didn't buy it.  and a few were determind to show the class and the world that I was a faker.   My math teachers were indeferent.  They didn't cair about it at all. and they didn't change anything.  but at least they didn't fight me.  a few of my english teachers realy let me have it.   I couldent rember the alphibet, (and still can't!!) but had to sit in on recesse and after school to look up the spelling of words.

Now if you have no fingers how can you type?   how comical would it be if you were held in the class room during recess and after school because you didn't finish or didn't do your typing corectly?  I wasn't laughfing then and can only find sad hummer in it now, but that was my life in the sixth grade.  Dyslexiecs generaly can't spell or do math because we revers letters and numbers.  I still (as you can see) can't spell. K through 12th grade and I was punished for not being able to spell through it all.  Just as if I had no fingers and was being punished for not being able to type.  The logic behind it is insane!!!  I was going to flunk remadal english in the 6th grade.  remeadial english is nothing but spelling. its the spelling class from hell.  my teacher would make me stay in from recess and after school EVERYDAY!!!!! correcting the spelling on my test.  How do you spell a unknown word?  you look it up?

NOW LISSON TO ME!!!!!!!!!
I can't spell!  just like you can't type!!!!  no matter what you will never be able to type!!!!
I will never be able to spell!!!   I'm 34 yrs old and I still can't spell.  I spell just as good now as I did in 6th graid.
I'm 34 years old and I still do'nt know the alphabit.  THANK GOD for sesamy street.  i could at least sing the alphibit.  So there I was every day singing the abphibit to my self with a really mad teacher stearing at me trying to spell "cattlelog".
you'd think that should be easy?
C is right up front in the alphabit.  number three.  a quick one.
rember I don't know how to spell.
so I'll walk you through how I'd look up a word. (I still have to sing the alphibet today to look up words.)
 

cattlelog
a,b,c, (singing)
ok find the "c" is in the frount of dictunary (turn to the Cs)
cattlelog
ok "a" is the first in the dictonary and the first letter in the C group.
cattlelog
abcdefghijklmnopqrst
ok t is along way away.  but all you have to do is follo the letters along untell the third letter is a "t"
next one is a "t" as well, cool easy one
I just slide my finger along untell i get a second "t"
cattlelog
abcdefghijkl
ok slide anong untell I get an "L" in the fith letter
next is an e
good its a quick one
abcde
next is an L
abcdefghijkl
not bad,  I slide my finger along untell i hit a word with the L in the 7ht possion

if any of you are trying this at home you will note that there is not a word that is spelled cattlel.....  in the dictonary.

so what do I do now?  I have to get this done.  She snoots at me and tells me what I really need is some more drilling in spelling.
so I re spell it.
maybe cattlelog starts with a K
nope
maybe there is only one t
maybe its cattlolog
maybe......
maybe........
maybe.........

I never once ever finished looking up all ten words in the hour provided. sometime she let me go early because she must have had somthing more exciting to do.

with the pending doom of my failure in remeadal english and the clear lack of understanding by the teacher, my parents were desprate.  The only othe english class offered at that time slot was the advance english class.  so I was mover there.  Now understand I am scaired as hell going into this room.  all the smart kids are here.  I know them all.  they are goingto be doctors and lawyers and rocket scientist.  Man I was scaired.  I was going to have to spell big big words! and none of this only 10 words on a test stuff eather.  They had 20!! I was doomed!  As it was the middle of  the semester, the teacher introduced me to the class and found me a seat.  dead center in the room, the worst!  every one was going to see me fail.  I don't rember what we talked about that day I was too scaired. and when he called me up to he desk after class I knew I was allready intruble.  But he told me he had talk to my parents and to my counclers and that he would not count off for spelling.  I asked  "on any thing"  hopping he would slip up and say "anthing" and there by include spelling test.  it wouldn't work for long. Maby only  the first test but I needed all the breakes I could get.  but he said "including spelling test.  I'll mark them wrong one the test so no one will know but i won't count off for it.  I do expect you to do as good as the rest of the class in every thing else. you have to know the deffanitions but not the spelling"

now think about your missing fingers and typing.  if all you are required to do is desplay your knowlage of a book you just read.  Having fingers is not and will never be a prerequst to that.  But you are going to fail because you don't have fingers.  Not based at all on your marets!!!  And now some one has just told you "I'll give you and oral exam insted of a typed exam".
 

That was the first chance in my hole life to fight the other kids on equal ground!  Man did I take the gloves off!!!  I only missed 15 points in the entire class!!! out side of spelling I had the thrid highest grade in the class!!!!  in English!!!!!
That was the first time I belived the test results.  It was the first time I beleaved in my self.
I could do it!  Six years of self doubt, self hate, low self esteam and depression took a serious beating after that class!

I still only got a C out of the class though.  The teacher of the first class wouldn't let my poor showing in her class go unnotised so both the first and second half grades had to be averaged.  the F and the A gave me the C.

The rest of my school days 6 through 12 were hard.  I finaly knew I could do it.  maybe not the spelling and maybe not the math but I was smart!!  and very little in life revolves around math or spelling!!!!!  I knew that then.   and I know it now!!  So i started to learn every thing I could that didn't have anything to do with spelling or math.

lets see, in school what else is ther but math and spelling?  science!!!!!!  I couldn't do th emath for physice (though I think I'm better at it)  but I could do Biology!!!  Biology was easy for me.  any thing was easy fro me if they didn't make me "type".  an new thing came out  while I was in Highschool computers and  word prosseors with a spellchecker!!!  word star!  it was my savyor.  well sort of. didn't work wel at all. but it at least knew when the word wasn't correct.

I now use a voice activated dictation program that lets me talk to my computer.  To let you understand how it has helped me, it would be like getting fingers to you!!!!

To me, now, dyslexia is a gift.  I know now that I can over come any limitation presented by the handicap and succeed.  Being the best has nothing to do with spelling or math.  Being the best is a goal reached in the soul.

So does it go away?  Does the self doubt go away?  Do you ever feel sure of yourself?

I don't want to be negative or sound bad about this, but it doesn't go away.  I routinely spend several minuets to an hour or so trying to find the spelling of a specific word.  This always gets me down.  But I have accomplished allot in my life.  I'm proud of where I am and where I'm going.  I have taught people in a range of different settings, from the general public to university level classes.  My handicap has never interfered whith my teaching.  There are things I'll never be able to do such as win a spelling 'B' but so what!

Dyslexia has made me a stronger person and I wouldn't trade my life for anybody else's.
 

"Success is getting up one more time then you fall down" (off a poster in my LD class room in 6th grade, and my motto through out my life)
 

GOOD LUCK!!!!
DON'T QUIT!!!!

Take care of you,
Brad Elder
 
 

My Theme song. (Ya, I know... theme songs are kinda dorky, but this one's allot of fun.) This should load on your default MP3 player. This may take a few minuets to down load. I'll try to find a better way to load it.
 
 

To get a hold of me you can snail mail me at :

 
Brad Elder
Department of Botany and Microbiology
George Lynn Cross Hall
770 Van Vleet Oval
University of Oklahoma
Norman, OK 73019-0245

Off: (405) 325-2525 (Anytime,  I would rather talk to you than do whatever it is that I am curently doing and I am almost always here late.) :O)

OR just email me at belder@ou.edu

The email server has been down for two weeks here.  It has saved some of your emails to me which I'll respond to over the next few days.  I fear however that many emails were lost.  I usually receive 2-8 emails a day and over this two week outage I have only received 4 new emails.  So If I have not responded to your email please send it again.  Thanks!  Brad  (11/06/01)
 

Darb's Homepage

Or the to stop by since 02/01/01.
 

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